Faith Like a Child, Not Like Rocketman

As my college career comes to a close, I've been doing more and more thinking about that "future" thing everyone seems so obsessed with. Thankfully, I seem to have gotten out of the stage in which I have no idea what I am going to do with my life after my time as an undergraduate. I have a fairly clear image of what the next step in my life is going to be, and I'm excited for that. Yes, it took me a long time to figure out what that next step was supposed to be, and to really feel sure of it, but it definitely feels good to have arrived at this place of knowing (to some extent).

I've been wondering recently, however, is this place of peace that I am in a good thing? Here I am, feeling like I've figured out this next step in my life. Yet the title of this blog (along with many other aspects of my faith) are screaming at me, telling me that I'm dangerously close to doing something very, very stupid.

Christians talk a lot about "answering the call". We like to think on these pivotal moments in our lives in which we pick up the proverbial God phone, hear what it is we are supposed to hear, and respond accordingly. Then we hang up. We figure we've listened as we are called to do, have in turn been rewarded by an image of what we are meant to do next, and so we run off, skipping and clapping and waving flags around.

Then something goes wrong. We didn't get the funding we needed (something that I am afraid of as I hopefully move off into this internship), the outcome wasn't what we were hoping for, what have you. We then start yelling "What the crap!" (or something to that effect) to anyone who will listen. We heard "the call", so why didn't everything end with a parade of unicorns accompanied by little children firing guns that shoot rainbows and bubbles?

I've seen this happen in my life more than once, and the only explanation that has made any sense to me is that I got impatient. It's easy to get overexcited to go out and do something, anything, especially at the end of a giant equipping period like college. We wait for so long that the first sign of clarity we receive that direct us towards something productive might as well be a giant bomb set off underneath us that launches us into a new wild and crazy adventure.

The problems with bombs is, once they go off, you can't really control them. We get shot off in a new direction and in our excitement we don't really pay too much attention to a lot of what if going on around us. It's also very hard to listen in the midst of an explosion.

The tricky thing about "the call" is that it isn't really a one time thing. I honestly believe that if God were to show me all that He had for me for my entire life, I would have run away screaming a long time ago, and I'm fairly certain that's true for all of us. He knows that, so He gives us pieces of our future, one at a time. Instead of the one gigantic call we like to think defines our entire life (and admittedly sometimes it can), I've found that God actually likes to have a conversation with us, guiding us step by step.

The issue with this for many of us (myself included) is that it isn't big and dramatic. Instead of a giant exciting explosion, the image we get for our lives is more like what we did in kindergarden, where we had that rope we held on to as we slowly moved forward. Also like kindergarden, there are a lot of shiny things that distract us, and we want to run and play with them, leaving the rope behind because, quite frankly, the rope can be boring at times. For certain periods in our life, God tells us to just sit there, holding the rope. We don't even get to walk anywhere, and our purpose seems no where to be found.

What do we do in these moments? We wait. Yes, we wait, but that doesn't mean we do nothing. Times in which we are seemingly left sitting on the playground holding a rope are there for a reason. For example, this last year of college, one in which I feel as though I have done (in a grand sense) very little, has been a time in which I am being dramatically equipped so that I am actually prepared to take the next step of my life.

So here I am, sitting on the ground, holding my rope. For those of you who feel like you are in the same place, my word of encouragement to you is that this time can be just as productive as when we are actively "doing something". Take this time of waiting as a blessing. Spend this time listening and looking for opportunities to grow so that we can be that much more faithful with the opportunities that we are inevitably going to be given.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Shucky Darn It's a Christmas Blog!

So here we are. It's Christmas. To some of us, this day means that we got to open up a lot of cool gifts (and a package of socks) and spend time (for good or ill) with family. For some of us, this is a day that means absolutely nothing. For me, this day has become increasingly important as I have grown in my faith. This year, for the first time, I honestly feel like I am being truly moved by my understanding of this time of the year, and I am eternally grateful for that.

The question of how to express that gratefulness is something which has been bugging me for the last few days. Of course, being that it is Christmas, related Facebook statuses abound. Not to hate on people's choices, but to me Merry Christmas just doesn't have a ton of meaning anymore. It has become cliched to the point that it is known more as that thing you're not supposed to say if you work in customer service than an honest expression of joy and a declaration that peace now has the opportunity to reign in our lives because of what God did.

So what then? What shall I do to express my joy as I sit here in my new scarf (thanks Corbin, even though you're six years old and I don't think you even know what a blog is and therefore probably aren't reading this)? The only thing which comes to mind which even comes close to fulfilling the task is to share with you where this joy has come from for me. Let this act as your que to exit stage-left if you don't want to hear me talk about God. I honestly hope you keep reading though.

I've often wondered at why God doesn't show Himself more visibly in people's lives. Around Christmas time, churches do a lot of talking about how spectacular a gift the coming of Christ into the world was. The key thing that has always acted as a catching point for me was the tense in which this was proclaimed. This WAS a gift. Jesus WAS sent into the world. Then He left. In the most beautiful and loving way imaginable, granted, but He still left.

I think too much of the time I let my thinking stop right there. Jesus left, we've been given the (incredibly hard to understand at times) Holy Spirit to act as our counselor, and God's Son has been forever left to being discussed in the past tense.

It has been in this area that my understanding of Christmas has been changing in some huge ways. The event which Christmas commemorates cannot be looked at as a singularity that just simply happened. Jesus didn't stay a baby forever. He grew up. Why? So that He could die on a cross for every single person who would ever live. This, in turn, gave each of us the opportunity to have a relationship with God. We didn't do anything to earn this. In fact, to earn this amazing act of love, humanity (God's chosen people included) lived in active rebellion for quite a few centuries. Nonetheless, we have been given the opportunity to connect with someone who doesn't let who we are, what we've done, or who we've hurt keep us from His love.

This is how I've started thinking about Christmas. Not as that one holiday that commemorates the birth that didn't even happen in December, but as the start of something so beautiful that I am unbelievably excited to spend the rest of my life and beyond thinking on, experiencing, and understanding it better. Jesus birth didn't "just happen". It was the start of a chain of events which opened up a life we could not have found and still can't find in any other way.

For many of us, the fervor of Christmas is beginning to fade. For others, this time doesn't have any spiritual meaning at all. As I encourage myself, I encourage all of you, however, to think of this time as a celebration not of just one event, but the beginning of a movement that changed all of human history. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful Christmas, wherever you are and whatever this time may mean. May this be a time filled with grace, peace, and joy.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Rock, Paper, Grace.

I'm finding more and more that this season of Christmas has a painful irony to it. Christmas commemorates the coming of the Christ into this world. What we commemorate here is the epitome of all grace being brought here to Earth for the singular reason that He might remind people of who God is and die that we might have a relationship with Him.

Yet, in this season in which grace should be celebrated more than anything, I have been finding almost the exact opposite to be true. The pressure of this season seems to create a climate in which we become more self-centered, and less willing to show grace than ever. Blame this on commercialism, spiritual turmoil, what ever force you feel like pointing the finger at. The fact is that the climate of this season, one which should be more joy-filled than we could ever imagine, can be somewhat depressing.

Ever since I arrived here in Colorado, I have had the displeasure of seeing case of after case of ungrace being acted out. From drivers to shoppers to parking garage attendants, I am constantly seeing a pervasive lack of grace, which is exactly what Christ came to bring. I honestly believe that this has to do with an equally pervasive lack of understanding of what this season is truly about, the amazing gift that was Jesus' coming into this world. I, however, cannot force anyone to believe in what Christ came to do so that I can have a more joyful Christmas.

But what can we do? What can be done to challenge the ungrace which exists particularly in this season? I've been thinking on this a lot lately, and the answer which I've come to is surprisingly simple. We show grace. In this time in which all the pressures of providing gifts and the pain of unmet expectations inspires in people the drive to lash out at anyone who offends them, we show them an unprecedented level of forgiveness and love.

I won't say that this is easy to do, because that would make me a liar. Indeed, we have been given a model for what showing grace to a graceless world might look like. Something which has stuck in my head is the scripture in which Jesus talks about how he came not to bring peace but a sword. The more I have thought on this (a passage which has confused me for a good long while), I have found that the sword which Jesus brought was grace. He showed unending love and forgiveness to those who had been shunned from society, social pariahs, those who were seen as the lowest of the low. In doing so, he dramatically challenged the foundation of an entire culture.

The image used to describe this grace, this shattering of social norms through love, is a sword. A symbol of warfare. I'm not saying we're going to find ourselves getting in fights for loving people, but I can say it will definitely surprise most of those we interact with, sometimes more than we might think possible. In the midst of the pressures of this season, the last thing someone expects to receive after exploding in anger is a loving reception. That, though, is exactly what they need to receive. Grace is infectious. By showing it to people in the moments when they expect it the least, we have the opportunity to challenge this world to be more loving on a fundamental level.

So in this season in which I'm fairly certain that a great many of us will experience a heaping helping of ungrace, let's shake the foundations of this world. Let's love in the midst of being proverbially spat on. Sure, it'll hurt us in the moment, and it probably won't feel like we're having much of an impact, but nothing worth having is free. Let's be willing to feel that momentary pain of overlooking ungrace so that someone's life might be changed forever.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

You Don't Know Me, Starbucks!

A quote from a Starbucks cup:

"Be careful, this beverage you are about to enjoy may be extremely hot."

At first, this phrase seems fairly innocuous. If anything, it's a nice warning, reminding me of the consequences that come along with my unhealthy addiction to caffeine. There, I admitted my problem, step one complete.

There is one part of this friendly little admonishment, however, that I think is worth examining, this being the assumption which Starbucks makes here. According to the marketing geniuses who spent hours and hours designing this cup, I have no option but to enjoy this beverage. Whether or not I will like this drink is a forgone conclusion. The second the liquid entered this particular container, some strange faux-hipster magic was cast, creating a concoction which would lull my taste buds into eternal bliss.

I know what I am about to suggest is ground breaking, but what if by some crazy chance I didn't enjoy the drink?

*Audible Gasp!*

Granted, this most likely would not be the case for me. I do, indeed, have an unhealthy addiction to coffee, and if you put coffee flavoring in something and tell me I can have it I will probably like you more. My own issues aside, I'm quite certain that there are people out there who do not, in fact like coffee. Based on this, the cup (not unlike certain types of cake) is a lie.

But how can this be!? Marketing is supposed to be able to tell me everything I want! If Starbucks is getting it wrong, does this mean that the rest of our consumer culture may NOT have a concrete grasp on all of my desires!?

In short, yes, but that won't stop them from trying.

I know I have been fairly snarky throughout the first part of this particular piece, but I think there is something which we need to be a bit more serious about here. We live in a society that likes to get us to feel as though we are validated by making purchases. I feel that this is basically impossible to miss during this particular month. Based on the fact that we are not completely impulsive, however, people get payed lots of money to get us to go out and continue buying things by focusing on getting us to believe that we want things.

Sometimes, we really do want what our culture is pushing. A lot of it seems fairly attractive. The deeper question here, though, is what makes those things attractive. I honestly believe that there are parts of these various products that we want, and maybe even want them for good reasons. We want to think we are attractive. We want to think we are intelligent. We want to think that we can relate to the culture around us.

The truth of the matter is, though, that you can't find these things in a product. I spent years of my life thinking that if I could just look the right way, say the right things, portray the right image, that I could be everything I was meant to be. In reality, we can't do anything to make ourselves more like the person we are meant to be. We were created with that intention already in mind, and all we are capable of, all we have to do, is realize it.

So in this season in which nine hundred thousand different things will try to tell you that they can define you, my message to both myself and anyone reading this is simple. Know who you are. If you haven't figured that out, take some time to do it. Get out of all the stress and panic that comes along with this season so much of the time, find a place of peace, and think on who you were meant to be. Who you were made to be. Let the fulfillment of that purpose be what brings you joy this season.

With His love and Hopefully His grace,

Taylor

The Week to End All Weeks

Many of us here at Western feel as though we are in the midst of the above. The pressure of finals week has finally shattered the carefully constructed bunker of our procrastination, forcing us to action. We long for those final days in which we shall be free from this terrible burden which has afflicted our very souls (please note, this is me being dramatic). Indeed, rarely can we find something which compares to the feeling of the elation which comes along with a finals week well done. In the same way, it is not often that something can hurt like a quarter ending on a painfully low note.

The interesting thing to me, though, is that this week means absolutely nothing for the rest of the world. This infamous half of a fortnight, which is so impactful for university students, is just another week to most people. Work continues, families still need to be fed, the latest J.J. Abrams show (we're still on Fringe, right?) asks eight new questions and answers one.

This might seem almost offensive to those of us in the midst of this stupendously stressful time in our lives. At that oh-so-very scary point at which we think without analyzing, we find our minds screaming "How dare these people live normal lives while I'm freaking out about all these pretty pictures in my biology textbook!"

The silliness of this thinking should be readily apparent, and yet it is something to which I think we can relate. Even in life outside of college, there exists many an opportunity to become so focused on what is going on in our lives that we become agitated by anyone who isn't involved in the same stressful activities. In these moments, it is particularly important for us to think on what kind of an impact this thinking is having on the way in which we interact with others.

As a tradition for many, finals week is a time in which we shut ourselves off from the world. Living in the dorms this year, I have seen this first hand, both in myself and in others. In my case, I think I became some sort of shadow version of myself while I was writing my 27 page senior thesis, a creature which only partially existed in this world. As such, I was very difficult to find, which was exactly what I wanted to be. I had too much to focus on, too much going on in my own life, to worry about what was going on around me.

It isn't until now that I've noticed just how selfish that thinking is. In some way, I justified the idea that my stress, my needs superseded all those of any individual around me. What I was going through was inherently, in my mind, more important than what anyone else could be experiencing at that moment. Hopefully we can all see the flaw in that thought process.

In light of this, I have tried to reorient my thinking during times of stress, and I would encourage those reading to do the same. Instead of allowing ourselves to charge down the slope of stress into the mire of self-absorbtion, I think we need to take our stressful times as periods in which we are extra attentive to the needs of those around us. The entire world expects us to be obsessed with what is going on in our lives when things get hard. What an amazing chance we have, then, to show how God has empowered us to care for people by consciously taking the focus off of ourselves in those stressful times.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

The Hero of My Own Life Story

Some of you may have heard a story about me involving a time in which I was running in the arboretum late at night. You may have heard that, while on this particular run, I was maced by a random woman on the trail who proceeded to run away screaming after inflicting horrible pain upon my person. For those of you who have heard this story, I have something to tell you. I made it up. This is not a true story, rather a fabrication which I invented during my Sophomore (how fitting) year here at Western.

Why would I make up such a fantastical story? To be truthful, it was because I was rather insecure during my early time here at WWU and I found that people seemed to take more of an interest in me when I had some sort of zany story that made me easier to remember. At the heart of this desire to be noticed I believe was something which I think a great deal of us can relate to, that being the need to feel important, to have a prominent place in someone's mind. I, along with many other people, had and still continue to have a need to be remembered in some way, particularly one which leaves me as more just another "oh yeah that guy from that thing."

This desire can be seen in several different areas of our lives. We want to succeed, be it in the classroom, on the field, in the marketplace, what have you, so that we can be remembered as a winner. We want to be popular so that we can be remembered by a great many people, something which makes us feel more important. We even want to be able to cram the most marshmallows in our mouth and choke out the words "fluffy bunny" as we fail to draw our last breath through a Great Wall of Stay-Puffed (surely that would get us remembered by at least a couple more people).

For those who have some sense of the eternal life which is available through Christ, the above methods for seeking importance can sometimes seem silly, at least at times when they are pursued to an extreme. However, I think it is important to note that Christians are just as capable of pursuing very similar endeavors as these, though they have what we might think of as holier intentions behind them. We get in cute little competitions with ourselves about how well we pray, about how many people we can heal, encourage, prophesy over, whatever result comes from our particular gifting.

If we were to be honest with ourselves, I think that we would find very similar motivations lying at the heart of these various actions. We, as Christians, strive no less than those who don't yet know God to be remembered. Whether this be by God or by other people, we want to have our faith have meant something.

Sometimes, I don't think this is a bad thing. We should be faithful with the gifts we have been given, even if we don't necessarily feel like we are anything special. The gospel of Christ is one of which inspires us to act, not to simply sit around and revel in how much freedom we have. We should be actively involved in this world, desiring to do so as an expression of thanks for all that has been done for us.

The second we go from acting out of love and thankfulness to trying to be remembered, however, we miss a very important point. That point is, God does remember each of us. Me. You. Even that person watching you read this through that window. Phrases such as this have become cliche in some way in our society, something which (as I've already talked about some) we need to be working against. We are dealing the maker of the universe, the one who has spent all of human history actively involved in the lives of people, the very God who in the form of Jesus came to Earth that He might walk with us and in turn die for us The fact that He actually remembers is should be absolutely shocking in the most beautiful way.

Scripture paints the image that God knows us more intimately than we could ever know ourselves. I think it would do us all a world of good to stop worrying about how we can make sure we are going to be remembered, and instead start focusing on the beautiful thing that is the Truth that we don't have to try. God's spent thousands of years not forgetting people. I don't see why He would start now.

The Worst Cliche Ever

Jesus died on the cross for our sins.

Based on the title of this post, some of you are probably offended at the fact that I would call something which is indeed the foundation of the Christian faith a cliche. I would ask, however, what was your knee-jerk reaction to that statement? Thinking back on how I have interacted with this Truth over my (very) short life as a Christian, I have found that more and more I see this as a point which is important, but doesn't necessarily need to be discussed at length. Jesus died. We're saved. We get it. Cool beans.

My thinking on this started at the small group which I am a part of here at WWU. Our topic for the night was what type of model we are given by God in terms of how we should love people. In response to the question of what is the most fundamental expression of God's love, one of the men in our group said, somewhat sheepishly, "Well, I guess the cross, but that kind of feels like cheating." He went on to say that the work on the cross was, "of course," extremely important, but it felt cheap to just say that and be done.

But shouldn't the cross be enough? Scripture, in particular the writings of Paul, is ripe with assertions that it is by what Jesus did on the cross, and only by that, that we have freedom from sin and the opportunity to join in fellowship with God. What happened to make it so that it feels like cheating to proclaim the most sacrificially loving act known?

Admittedly, it is important to recognize that the cross is not something which should be thrown around lightly. Jesus' work on the cross is a fact which has been misinterpreted and abused countless times, showing the potential dangers in not taking the time to understand (both in mind and soul) just what happened on that hill. However, I think this fact affirms that we should be focusing on the cross before we focus on anything else. Not only should we be recognizing what was done for us, but we should be honoring that sacrifice all the more by seeking to renew and grow our understanding of it each day.

So what has become of this incredibly important aspect of our faith? I would say to get an image of that, all that needs to be done is to tell both Christian and non-Christian alike about this fact and watch them roll their eyes with the underlying thought of "yeah, I've heard that one before," screaming from their disinterested faces. What should bring about expressions of shock, adoration, and wonder instead brings with it boredom. The most foundational aspect of our faith has become a footnote.

I know I don't want this to be the case in my life. I honestly hope that I can live each day with a growing understanding of just what was done for me as an individual and at the same time for all of humanity throughout time and space. This amazing work that, too often, we allow to be of little importance in the day-to-day living out of our faith is not only a beautiful gift, but also a model for how we are to love each other, with a heart to sacrifice all that we have to provide for those around us. To forget that would be incredibly dangerous.

In light of this, I want to urge myself, as well as anyone who would join with me, in reclaiming what Jesus did on the cross as the most important moment of both Christianity as a whole and our own lives. I truly believe that, if we can come to a better understanding of this Truth, we will be able to love the world in an infinitely more beautiful way, and join with God in rejoicing as people come to know that love, and at the same time come to know Him.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

We've been riding this pendulum for two thousand years...

...and quite frankly I'm starting to get uncomfortable. Not just because sitting on a pendulum is not a terribly cozy position, but it is quite tiring swinging back and forth, back and forth with no sign of this painfully repetitive motion ever stopping.

What pendulum is this that I speak of, you ask? Why the pendulum of the Church, of course!

Perhaps more than any other institution in this world, the Christian Church is famous for swinging back and forth in the nature of the actions which it takes. This is not, of course, something owned by Christianity. We humans are wonderful at being indecisive. Combine this with our love of binaries (good vs evil, effective vs failure, pie vs cake), and we've established a joyous system in which when we see something going wrong we swing as fast as we can in the other direction, completely confident that if we do the opposite of the wrong thing we were doing we will undoubtedly find the solution to our woes.

For the Church, this process is particularly important, based on the fact that Christians get caught up in this about 137% more than other humans. I think the reason for this is that we have a whole other dimension to what we do here on this Earth. Not only are we trying not to hurt the people around us, stay alive, and keep things in our general vicinity from lighting on fire or getting eaten by bears, but we are also trying to please God. The last aspect of our lives is, bar none, the most important. It is also the most difficult to reconcile. Being that God's will can be hard to discern, it is even more tempting to begin running in the other direction when we see something going the slightest bit wrong, crying out the oh-so-spiritual justification of "It must not have been God's will!"

This over-eagerness to swing back and forth in terms of how we think we should interact with the world has done plenty of damage, with Christians finding fault on both sides of the arc and a hefty amount of division coming about as a result. Personally, I'm a bit tired of watching myself and those I call my brothers and sisters in Christ running back and forth, pulled by whoever happens to have the most convincing rhetoric in a particular moment.

But what to do? If the Church has been swinging back and forth since its birth as a body, is there any hope to stop this swinging and heal the rifts which the pendulum has ripped open? I honestly believe that there is. We, as a collective body, need to stop looking at the big shiny end that keeps swinging, and focus more on the pivot point that our faith has been resting on since the beginning. By refocusing on these foundational aspects of our faith, God's grace and the work which He did on the cross, we have the opportunity to begin the process of bringing His people together in a way that hasn't been seen since the time of Acts.

This isn't going to be an easy process. We have spent years becoming very, very good at arguing over small issues (for example, people spent a century fighting about what day Easter should be on). It has to begin on a small level, with each of us choosing to not allow relatively unimportant issues to separate what the Lord has joined together. In light of this, I want to invite each of you to join me in looking to the foundation of our faith, rather than the swinging pendulum of our own understanding. Personally, I'm excited to start living a life with less head swinging and more God following.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Declaring war on "supposed to".

Lists have gone fairly well for me in the past, so I think I am going to kick this particular literary endeavor off with another one. This time around, a few things that many Christians are generally considered to be in opposition to.

1. Sex outside of marriage.
2. Excessive consumption of alcohol
3. Abortion
4. Materialism
5. The worship of other gods (both in the direct and abstract meaning)

There is an important question, though, that should be asked of oneself when considering these and other issues which Christians are generally considered opposed to. Particularly, this question should be taken into even greater account when discussing these issues with someone who does not have a relationship with God. This question is a short one.

"Why?"

Often, Christians have the idea that these various things are wrong drilled into their heads with very little opportunity to question this at a young age. As a result, we reach our adult years with the understanding that these things are wrong, evil, what have you simply because they are supposed to be. As I'm sure many reading this have experienced, the answer of "because it is" or "that's what I was taught" (both in my opinion based from the core idea that certain things are just supposed to be wrong) are almost completely ineffective when it comes to intense and animated dialogue on issues such as those listed above.

As suggested in the title, I feel that we need to, in a manner of speaking, declare war on the idea of "supposed to". We are called to witness to people about the love of God, but sometimes there are (very legitimate most of the time) roadblocks to person understanding God as being one who loves and cares for them deeply. When this is the case, it falls to those God has called to minister to people to confront these misconceptions. We cannot, however, expect to do that if the only way of helping that person overcome those misconceptions to to tell them what we were taught growing up, or what we "just believe".

This leaves us with an important burden. We absolutely have to educate ourselves as to why we believe what we believe, both in the bigger terms of faith and in specific issues. I am not saying we have to know everything. For example, if someone were to come to me and ask me some sort of science based query, they would receive a response beginning with uncomfortable ums, much shuffling, and confusion. Ultimately, I would run away. But then I would get ice cream and come back and we would be friends. Yay.

In all seriousness though, we are not required to know everything. If we are ever to be able to claim a strong position on a contemporary issue for God, one which will indeed stand the test of both time and our own culture, we must be willing to do the leg work to make sure that we are capable of defending that position. In this, we should not be lording our knowledge over people, but rather showing that we care enough about what they see as important to be able to dialogue with them. If what we believe really is Truth, I am wholeheartedly confident that this exercise, though admittedly scary sometimes, will indeed be affirming, and challenge the false stereotype that as Christians we have long ago given up our brains for an ignorant faith. With this, we have the chance to do infinitely more good in this world.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Challenging everything you learned in Sunday school.

The premise of this blog is that the Pharisees were a little bit good. You may now produce your torches and pitchforks.

I would, however, ask that you please hear me out before the Frankenstein-esque attacks on my person begin. First off, for anyone who is not aware, the Pharisees have been set up (and not without reason) as some of the worst "bad guys" in all of scripture. They constantly stood in the way of Jesus attempting to love people, and could potentially be used to define the term legalism in terms of a religion. Whereas these individuals were meant to be the shepherds of Israel, they were instead its persecutors.

I honestly think that there is something which we can learn from this group. To begin, I want to examine a premise that I feel is well known to a good many people who have come to know the Lord, that being that God is capable of finding good in just about anything. For example, in the case of the interaction between Jesus and a woman he meets at a well, Jesus knows full well that the woman with whom he is speaking has sinned a great deal, but chooses to cross all manner of social borders in order to show her that she is cared for in a deeper way than she could ever imagine. God in turn used this woman to proclaim the gospel to those living in her community. Fast forward to the modern day, and we see that God is still using plenty of messed up people, deeply troubled and wounded individuals (myself included) to show the world His love.

For one who chooses to identify as a Christ follower, it becomes their goal to live as Jesus lived. This means taking on a certain burden, including attempting to emulate His ability to find the goodness in anything, no matter how depraved it might have been. This is the polar opposite of an easy task, but if accomplished to even a small fraction of the ability which Jesus had during His time on the Earth, it has the potential to change lives more dramatically than we could ever know. So, if we are indeed called to love as Jesus loved, to seek the good in people as Jesus did, what about individuals such as the Pharisees?

Before I go any further, I want to clarify something. I am by no means attempting to justify the actions of the Pharisees. These men abused people in the effort to prove Jesus wrong, and harshly held Israel to a moral code so unreachable that upon Jesus' arrival, those who heard Him were incredibly eager to hear anyone who spoke of freedom from the yoke which had been placed on them.

There is, however, a good which can be found, even a group as deplorable as the Pharisees. I think we would be hard pressed to find a Christian in the modern day who knows scripture to the same extent that these men did. Though they misused it, though they abused it, they knew it. Scripture was something which was carved into the minds of these men. Though 90% of the example which the Pharisees provide is only useful to show what not to do, I think that, if we are to follow after Christ, we should desire to have the ability to discern that which is indeed beneficial. The knowledge of scripture seen in the example of the Pharisees, coupled with a truly passionate heart to follow after God, would bring with it a love so profound that it would have the ability to do unthinkable amounts of good, truly beyond anything I can imagine.

I believe that this is a practice we need to work on. The ability to see an opportunity to seek God in all that we do and in all of the situations in which we find ourselves is something too great to pass up. From that which glimmers with holiness, to that which is so dark with depravity that it is painful to behold, there is the potential to find some level of good in anything in this world, though it does require a choice. Making this choice is more often than not incredibly difficult, is there anything which is truly good in this world that isn't?

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Because my show is your show but your show's not my show.

No thank you, people in my life, I would not like to watch True Blood. Now please allow me to explain why in what will hopefully be a wise manner.

I recently read an article in Relevant magazine (a great read if you can find it) which discussed five shows currently on television and how they were "saving T.V." The article focused on how, even though shows might not be directly worshipping God, they could still discuss important spiritual points, challenging those who identify as Christ Followers to grow in their faith and challenge complacency or hypocrisy in their own lives. I feel like I should add in a note telling you to go read the article now, so as to avoid copyright weirdness. Of course, I'm not really important enough for them to care.

Anywho. I agree with most of what this article has to say. I think God can be found in amazingly strange places in which we would never think to look for Him (see the blog on Alice and Wonderland). I believe that, as a Christian, it is important to engage with the culture around us and not simply shelter ourselves in our own little God box. We are called to go out into the world and directly confront all of the messiness out there with His love, not horde all that we have been given for ourselves.

However, we need to be smart about how we do that. Television can be a little like a mine field. Some of you may feel a very different way, but I think that modern media is filled with all sorts of things which can distract us towards sin and are ultimately detrimental to our lives. Some of you are probably thinking that right now I sound like one of the very same out-of-touch Christians that I warned against in the previous paragraph, but again, I am not proclaiming avoidance, just caution. One would not (at least hopefully) charge into a mine field blindfolded doing a polka while throwing grenades everywhere yelling "By golly I sure hope I get blown up right now!" This is how one ends up dead.

I feel that a similar mindset should be taken when engaging modern media, particularly television. We each have unique triggers which will cause us to stumble or to downright fall into a place where we do not need to be. With this in mind, each of us needs to have the maturity to know what challenges and tempts us, and respond accordingly by not engaging with certain shows, songs, what have you. Often, Christians assault the media for throwing so many detrimental things in our faces. However, I feel that there is a personal responsibility which each of us has to know what is and is not beneficial for us, and adapt the way in which we live in the world but not of it accordingly.

Again, I want to drive home the point that it is extremely important for Christians to engage modern culture. Not doing so brings with it the risk of fulfilling the stereotype that Christ calls us to only be detached from this world. I do not believe that anyone is necessarily in sin just for watching a T.V. show, but we need to be mindful of the temptations which exist in this world, and take necessary action to remove the things from our life that are keeping us from God.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

You done gone and said a bad word...

...and that word was "heaven".

There are a lot of things about Christianity that make people uncomfortable. These various objects of offense take many different shapes, ranging from the fact that Jesus actually claims ownership over our lives to the representation (not always in line with Truth) of God in the political arena. From foundational to, in my opinion, almost completely unimportant, respectively. There is something, however, which I feel inspires apprehension in both those who have a relationship with God and those who would not identify in this fashion, an aspect of the faith which I believe falls well within the realm of the former (substantially more important) classification of my entirely subjective scale. This would be heaven.

Bear with me if you will, as we embark on a journey of imagination together. That's right, this is Reading Rainbow, which makes me LeVar Burton, and you all tiny children. Think of the last time you hears a message in a church which has to do with heaven, or was even remotely related to the idea that we are promised eternal life if we follow after God. The only word I can come up with to describe how I feel during these times of teaching is anxious. Why, one might ask? I honestly don't know. Part of it is my constant fear that someone, somewhere, is going to be offended by what is being proclaimed. I think I am going to focus on that fear for right now, which is admittedly a tad dangerous I have just come to that conclusion this very instant.

In matters of heaven, really any part of Christianity which is excludes those who do not know God (as I have said before, though, we all have the opportunity to come to know God, I do not want to write about this without doing all that I can to make that clear), I often let my fear of other people's opinions rule me. There is a reality, however, which I feel must be understood by myself and anyone else who struggles with this. Christianity does indeed offend people. No matter how loving we try to be, no matter how deeply we know an individual, when sharing a faith which calls someone to turn away from the way in which they have lived and follow after God the reality we must face is someone will be put off by what is being presented to them. In making this statement, I make no effort to lessen the legitimacy of a person taking offense. I have experienced all manner of claims, some more reasonable than others, for why an individual is not comfortable with Christianity, or even the concept of a single infinitely loving God.

With this reality in mind, one who identifies as a Christian must ask how they are to live in light of the fact that their faith does indeed offend people from time to time. Blame can be cast in any manner of directions for why a person might be offended, from the individual sharing the faith, to the person listening, to the very God who made it so that there was anything to be shared at all. By sharing my faith, by acting in spite of the fact that I may temporarily offend someone, I indeed make myself a nice big target for that blame.

But does that really matter? We are not dealing with (often temporary) feelings of anger and discomfort here, we are dealing with the eternal fate of a soul. I think that someone who identifies as a Christ Follower should make every effort to educate themselves to other world views and recognize that those who support them (hopefully) consider their chosen conceptualization of the world to be extremely important to the way in which they live their lives. With this need to educate oneself in mind, I also believe that the greatest mistake a Christian can make is to let the fear that we will potentially offend someone paralyze us. In order to truly love people, we must push aside the fear that we do not know enough, that we will misrepresent God, that we ourselves will be defamed, whatever it is that holds us back. In no way is this easy, but it is infinitely necessary.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

"The Young People"

The above phrase is one which I have been hearing a lot lately.

I am currently still in Alaska, now up in Fairbanks for a few days. In short, Fairbanks is a town where the average age is significantly higher than anywhere else I have lived. Particularly, this can be seen at the church which my Grandmother attends. I am fairly certain that there were only four other individuals in this congregation that were not either actively planning for or in the midst of their retirement.

With this in mind, it makes sense that I would be hearing "the young people" quite often. Indeed, every conversation I had with one of my grandmother's friends labeled me as a member of this group. To clarify, this group is much broader than most of you are probably thinking. Whereas I once thought I was on the north end of this particular demographic, I have since learned that my fellow young persons range from teenagers to people in their early fifties. I am honored to be considered a worthy representative of such a diverse group. That was snarky. Please do not think I have an ego the size of Kentucky.

All of the above led to what one might consider a slightly off putting experience. I felt that, due to my age, I was not capable of entering into true fellowship with these individuals. This feeling made it extremely tempting to simply disengage, to come to the conclusion that I was there solely to visit with my Grandmother and as such I should not expect to be nourished spiritually.

This was a silly thought generated by the silly brain of a silly person.

I feel that too often the multi-generational nature of the community of Christ acts as a seemingly impassible barrier to the fullness of fellowship which we have available to us as members of God's family. Blame can be cast in all manner of directions, but just who is at fault for this division is not important. Granted, their are legitimate points which work to create division between multiple age groups. I did not live through the great depression, as my grandparents did. Our grandparents have not been immersed as deeply in a climate in which decades of conflict have created a very complex system of identities related to race, gender, and sexual identity. Whereas my grandmother feels deeply uncomfortable around computers, I have a similar reaction to hymnals. All this taken together creates a situation in which it is indeed difficult for followers of Christ of multiple generations to come together in fellowship.

These barriers to fellowship should indeed be recognized. However, I feel that there is a benefit to a multi-generational community which extends beyond any challenge presented by such a congregation. Such a group provides a persistent reminder that we are a part of a community which has existed for a multitude of years into the past and will continue to exist into the future. Too often, one generation becomes wrapped up in thinking that we are the truly chosen people of God, and that He will do more work through us than He has any other group. This is not, nor has ever been, in my opinion, the way in which God has worked since the coming of His son. We would put ourselves in great danger to think that we do not need the wisdom which has been given to those who have come before us in order to follow after God with all that we have.

It can indeed be difficult to interact with people from an older generation. For example, an older man across the coffee shop I am currently in just used the term "oriental", and I kind of want to hit him. However, as we are so often called to do in our relationships with God, we must be willing to look beyond our initial discomfort with and potential anger towards those who have come before us and see them as members of the same family which we belong to by way of Christ's sacrifice, not in an effort to justify or write off their behavior, but so that we might truly enter into fellowship and begin to shape and be shaped by each other. With this in mind, I will bear the burden of a "young person", with the hope that I can be encouraged by and in turn encourage those who have both come before and will come after me.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Home Sweet Huh?

Along with Jesus, I also love me some Alaska.

I am currently back up north for the first time in almost three years, and it feels...surreal. This town, the place which defined how I grew up and helped to shape me into the man I am today (and provides me with the unending joy of non-stop Alaska jokes), has of course continued to change during my time away. It still feels odd though. Stop lights have changed to roundabouts. I haven't seen a moose since I arrived. People are getting capped at the quaint little mall in South Anchorage (at least now I can be from the streets). All these little changes add up to a somewhat confusing and unsettling experience. Don't get me wrong, it is still very good, but very odd at the same time.

Though this feeling is not my favorite, I wonder if it is not what I, indeed, should be feeling. The question of where my home is has troubled me since I arrived in Washington in the form of little baby college freshman Taylor all those (three) years ago. I think the deeper question at the heart of this where has been what exactly is a home? I think each person reading this is going to have a unique definition for that question, but in the end I think the primary commonality will come down to something along the lines of a place which one can identify with, and in turn a place which shapes the identity of that individual.

This definition in turn begs the question of why a place which has shaped me so much over the course of my life, and that I identify with incredibly closely, should not feel like my home. I think the core issue here is that the place which I am trying to claim as my home is earthly. Being of the earth, Alaska can only define so much of my identity. As children of God, we have the opportunity to recognize our heavenly citizenship, embracing a home which allows us to shape the pieces of our identity which cannot be understood or clarified by a worldview confined to a mortal perception. This is a truly beautiful thing, and I want to make sure that it is known that this is not limited to only a certain group. This opportunity is available to everyone.

The more I have thought on this, the more comfortable I become with this rather odd feeling that comes along with my return to Alaska. Indeed, as I begin to recognize my identity as a visitor of sorts here on Earth, it makes sense that I am not going to be able to find all that I need to define myself here in the place I once considered my home. I will always hold Alaska dear to my heart, but I need to be willing to let go of my past if I am going to understand who it is that I am meant to be.

I think, as many of this blog's readers identify with the group known as "college aged", this is something that must be examined. As we begin to potentially become more distant from the places which have worked to define who we are, we must be willing to ask why it is that those places are important to us, and why we choose to attempt to maintain connections with those places (if indeed we do). So I take the opportunity to invite you all to join me in asking just where our home is, and maybe taking that first, sometimes uncomfortable step away from what we have allowed to define us throughout our lives.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Your Airport Self

If you have spent time in Seatac airport this weekend, I probably creeped on you at some point.

Que the background information. I really enjoy airports, mostly because of the fact that one gets raw glimpses of humanity in them. When someone is hurrying for a flight, they forget the fact that hundreds of people are swarming around them, and you get an incredibly brief glimpse of who a person is when they think no one is watching. These people will sometimes surprise you, whether its the little old lady who curses like a sailor and threatens to kill airport staff (only to herself of course), or the guy who is so ripped he could knock me out with his chin crying in the corner while watching Flicka 2. This was even more surprising, as I am not knowledgeable on things Flicka related, and thus did not know that Flicka 2 in fact existed. Apparently horses are involved.

I admit, this is a little bit creepy. However, I think this level of creepiness is something of which we are all guilty. Though I am more than a little bit weird, and often do things that don't make sense to a great many people, I feel that my current examination of other individuals is something of which I am certain I am not the lone practitioner. We, as a collective of human beings, like knowing things, particularly things which we are not supposed to know. The things which we observe others doing in places like airports fall perfectly into that category. In such a setting, we have the opportunity to learn a great deal about someone which they would normally keep from us were we to actually engage them as an individual. In these moments, we do not truly comment on the person we observe, but rather what that person represents.

Being the introspecting individual that I am, this realization inspired me to think on what it is that I represent. I have and will continue to make no secret of my faith (I love me some Jesus), and I hope that I represent that in everything I do. The question that arises for me, though, is how does my airport self represent that which is most important to me? I tend to shy away from clothing which proclaims in neon pink 115 point font that I AM A CHRISTIAN, and walking through an airport proclaiming the love of Jesus might be fun (I also very much enjoy megaphones), the effect would most likely be more negative than positive. Still, the question remains, how do I let that which means most to me show through in my brief, often unknown interactions with people?

The more I think on it, the more I think that this question is fairly unimportant. Indeed, I want my faith to show through everything that I do. However, I have never been one to think that someone can come to understand all that God has for them, the full joy that comes from a relationship with Him in a short, impersonal interaction oriented around something as trivial as a shirt or a tract. God is far too complex, and desires to know each of us far too intimately for any representation of Him which my airport self can provide to be considered worthy.

I am one who tries to look for depth in everything, even something as simple as a brief interaction which two people have in an airport. However, I think I am coming to know that there are indeed some interactions which are truly unimportant. Though it can become easy to get wrapped up in how we are perceived in every single second of every single day, these brief interactions are more often than not quite meaningless. Rather than obsessing over these brief, shallow meetings, I encourage myself, and any who would hear me, to make the effort to truly engage the people around us, and in so doing create the opportunity to share and discuss that which holds importance well beyond this world.

And most certainly beyond this airport.

With His love, and hopefully His grace,
Taylor

Waiting on Jesus Like We Wait on the Reaper

Jesus and death have a lot in common.

Now let us not get too existential here. There is a particular similarity which I want to focus on which can be found between Jesus and death. Both of the (I will call them) figures which I am going to discuss are incredibly complicated, but I want to limit myself today to talking about the way in which we wait for both of the subjects of this writing.

Understanding here will be impossible to the fullest extent without some background information. This weekend, I received a call informing me that my Grandfather had undergone emergency surgery, and was at the time hooked up to a ventilator. Doctors did not have hopes that he was going to be able to recover. My Grandfather is the first family member who's death I have had to begin the process of coming to terms with, so having his potential death come at me much sooner than I was expecting was indeed difficult.

My own personal pain is not what I want to talk about right now though. There will be plenty of time for me to contemplate that, but seeing as how my Grandfather did indeed survive his surgery, that particular time of reflection can wait. Instead, I am going to look at the effect which the imminence of death had on my life. Death is not something I dwell on often, but when confronted with it, I found that it dramatically effected every part of my day. I dreaded every phone call, thinking it would be the one telling me that a man I am deeply inspired by was gone. I kept myself from doing things so that I could be available to console those who would need what little comfort I could provide. My prayer, too, were effected, with my focus turning completely to the situation, and that God's will, whatever that may be (a painful thing to pray), would be done. I cannot say that everyone will react in this same way, but if nothing else my experience can be an example of death consuming almost all aspects of someone's life.

In thinking of Christ, particularly His imminent return, I find many parallels to this. Like death, I think that we tend not to want to think of Jesus' second coming. This event represents such a monumental change in our lives that it makes us uncomfortable to the point of inspiring avoidance. However, when we reflect on the second coming of Jesus, truly reflect, we find another commonality in that the thought Jesus' return dramatically impacts that way in which we live. We develop (at least hopefully) a sense of urgency in our ministry. We find boldness we did not know we had. Scripture has more weight and inspires us more. I struggle to allow Jesus' return to have this kind of impact on my life, and I am certain I am not the only one, but when we allow ourselves to be fully immersed in the reality that our Savior is indeed coming back, it can and should effect our lives deeply, something which I think we should strive to embrace.

Though there are similarities present between Jesus and death and their impact on our lives, there are equally important differences which must be acknowledged. When we think on death, we dwell on something that brings pain, sorrow, anger (though sometimes joy, but I would question the fullness of that joy for any that are not the one experiencing death). Jesus' return stands in dramatic contrast to these feelings. The idea of our Savior's return brings hope, excitement, beautiful life change, and the fulfillment of love.

We can see from the above examples that there are many things which can grip our hearts and dramatically effect the way in which we live, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. We should allow our selves to feel emotion, both positive and negative. However, when we have the opportunity to choose that which we will focus on, I think it is infinitely better that we fix our eyes, our thoughts, our very souls on the compelling being who brings a hope and joy unlike anything else that could occupy our minds.

With His love, and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

God's Love/Hate Relationship With Your Cell Phone

Everyone, I am going to ask you to do something that I know is scary. Don't worry though, because I'm doing it to, and we are going to make it through this together. I want us to turn our phones off. Wait! Don't run away, like I said, it is going to be O.K. We'll do it together, I'm right here with you.

My phone is off now, and I hope yours is too, otherwise I just became that weird guy who turned his phone off when no one else did, which would result in me not being one of the cool kids anymore, which would in turn require me to seek asylum in the Ukraine. See, bad things happen when you don't support people.

It is, however, time for me to get to my point. Some of you may have already guessed what that point is going to be, and may be slightly put off. This might seem like it is shaping up to be one of those Christian rants about how modern technology is evil and if we really want to be holy, we have to go back to using chisels and hammers, with our most techno-savvy citizens shattering social norms by way of carrier pigeon.

Most of the time, I feel that those who choose to promote this "simplicity gospel", disregard all the good that has been done for God and by God through the use of technology. From His global Church body to each of our individual lives, I am confident that technology has had a significant impact for the better. However, I think completely ignoring the voice of those who speak against things such as social media, cell phones, and the internet brings with it just as great a danger as blindly proclaiming to all who will listen that the iPhone in their pocket is going to land them a special place in hell next to people who talk too much in the theatre.

The danger of involving oneself in technology too intensely was something that never hit home for me until I heard an interesting point put forward by one of the pastors of one of the Christian groups on Western's campus. This pastor suggested, in a very reasonable way, that the reason the modern Church, particularly young people within the Church, have trouble with things such as understanding God's voice or embracing the gift of prophecy is because of the impact of the "instantization" of communication within our society.

At first, I wrote this theory off as more behind the times drivel from an out of touch old man who didn't understand me at all. The more I pondered this and worked it through with trusted brothers and sisters, however, the more I became deeply concerned about my level of interaction with social media and other forms of often-instanct communication. Has my brain been trained to accept messages only if they are delivered with fanfare and revelry (beeping and pretty colors) in a manner that does not require me to wait for them or allow any anticipation to build? How has this reworking of my thought process, the way in which I communicate, altered (and maybe even cheapened) my relationship with God?

Questions like these, though difficult, are something which I think we must force ourselves to ask. The challenge is, it is even harder to ask those questions when we are fully immersed in the very thing which might be negatively impacting our relationship with God, or, for someone who might not know the Lord, the ability to hear that first, beautiful glimpse of His voice. I am not going to say we should burn all our tech and go back to hand-written letters delivered on horse back. I do, however, think it might be a good idea to leave our phones off for a little bit longer, and hopefully in the process begin to relearn what it means to listen patiently, letting the anticipation build so that when we finally receive the message we have been longing to hear, it sounds all the sweeter.

With His love, and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

My Octagonal Idol

Sometimes I think I love stop signs more than God. "But Taylor," you may say, "how is it that you could ever love a stop sign more than the God who went so far as to give His one and only Son so that you might have life, and have it to the fullest?" To that, I would say that I don't believe I am the only one to have committed this blasphemy, in fact, some of you reading this may in fact be accompanying me in this rather strange group.

Now, please allow me to clarify something. I would not consider myself a stop sign worshiper. I do not have an idol set up to a stop sign, nor has the Lord ever sent a prophet or angel to me declaring that I need to literally tear down the stop signs in my life. In this case, I mean that I love stop signs in that I am more willing to obey a them than my God.

Obedience is an act of love which scripture specifically calls us to. Throughout the Old Testament, we see God calling Israel, the people that He had chosen out of the world, to follow the commands which He had given them. Jesus proclaims in John 14:15 that if we love Him, we will obey his commands. With these examples from scripture in mind, it can be seen that obedience is something which God sees as an incredibly loving act when it is directed towards Him, and deeply wounding when it is directed towards something of this world.

It is in this realm of obedience that my increased love for stop signs shows through. Many comments have been made about my driving, but one that generally comes up is that I will always, without fail, come to a complete stop at a stop sign if it is physically possible. I am not certain why I have picked this particular menial traffic law to follow so religiously (most likely it has something to do with the fact that I think "two car-lengths" is a silly, relative measurement and thus I take issue with it trying to tell me how much distance should be between me and other cars), but nonetheless, I see a devotion to the commandments given by stop signs that is lacking in many of the other areas of my life.

When these spiritual quandaries in our life are presented to us, the question which we inevitably end up asking is "why?" Not only does this make us sound even more spiritual and delightfully introspective, but it also hopefully brings with it an honest examination of our lives and, in this case, what authority we choose to follow and for what reasons. The answer that I keep coming back to is one which I find to be particularly troubling. I believe that the reason we follow the laws of this world more stringently than we do God's law is because we do not truly see our God as authoritative. If you wouldn't mind, I'm going to go ahead and take more ownership of that sentence for a second. I do not truly see my God as authoritative. It has become far to easy to assume that as long as we have a decent knowledge of God's character, and supposedly make an effort to carry out His will, then following the fullness of the commands which we have been given is not truly important. I see no model for this being the case in scripture. God does indeed have an infinitely loving plan for our lives, but it requires a focus on Him. If we are to enjoy all that our relationship with God has to offer, we need to be willing to look to the wisdom of Proverbs 3:5, which reminds us to lean not on our own understanding. What we think is a "good" way to live our lives means nothing. Instead, we need to look to the God who has spent thousands of years reminding us what it is to live well, and follow the commandments which He has provided for us so that we might live in a way that honors Him.

With His love, and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Finding Inspiration in odd places...

...such as rabbits in waste coats.

I think media is something to be taken with a grain of salt most of the time. However, the Lord can indeed work all things for good, and movies and music are not an exception. For example, I recently found myself watching Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton's recent remastering), and by the time the film was over, I found myself in a rather strange place. I had just finished watching a film which spent most of its time quoting poetry and and referencing writings that my pitiful non-english-major mind could not even begin to fathom (how does one spell Jaberwalky? Jabberwakky? Jibberwikkle?), when suddenly I found my relationship with God deepening. The line that stuck with me was this:

"My father once told me that he sometimes came up with as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Think on that for a second or seventeen. When one first hears this, its absurdity almost masks the depth of what it claims. A human man makes the statement that he is capable of bringing to his mind six or more things which would be considered by this world to be impossible. If one thinks on this with scripture in mind, it doesn't seem that difficult. These just come off the top of my head.

1. A woman can be turned into salt.

2. A man can survive for any length of time inside of a whale.

3. Water can be turned into blood.

4. Water can be turned into wine.

5. A man can be raised from the dead.

6. A God would give up His son for a people who had turned from Him.

So, if a mere man can look to scripture and easily find six things which the world would see as impossible, how many more can the God, who crafted scripture, think up? I don't think Tim Burton would be terribly happy with me for this, but his film helped me to be convicted to the fact that I have allowed my God to become too small. We serve a God who has done an innumerable amount of things which go far beyond our realm of understanding. I see no reason why we should think that He should not continue to do so. In light of this, let us continue to believe that our God is creative enough to do things we could never imagine, and hopefully expect that He will shine His creative love upon us.

This, however, is just my experience. You'll need to find your own rabbit in a waste coat.

With His love, and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Am I allowed to like me?

From time to time, I try not to like myself. This doesn't come from any deep self-loathing, but rather just a desire to remain humble. Humility is something which has become increasingly important to me as I have begun the process of determining who I am and what I am supposed to do. This process, though often not fun, tends to involve discovering what one is good at, which is indeed a fantastic feeling. It fills one with bubbles and sunshine to finally come to the realization that they are meant to (or at least have convince themselves that they are meant to) do something, whatever that may be. In my own journey, however, I have found that this journey can also leave one covered in the incredibly icky feeling that is pride. I would equate unhealthy pride to being covered in flan. I have just realized that two key points must be noted in order to understand my writing, which shall be interjected now.

1. I am a Christian. The primary focus of my life is to follow after Christ, doing my best to live as He lived and work with Him in bringing His Kingdom to this world. Being the primary focus of my life, my identity as a Christian has a significant impact on all that I do, including my writing.

2. Flan is gross. In light of this grossness, the idea of being covered in it is truly revolting.

Now that I have cleared that up, let us continue. Unhealthy pride is indeed gross. In my experience, it leaves me feeling as though a wrongness has invaded my very soul. In light of this aversion to pride, I must admit that I find it quite odd that I am being led towards creating a blog. Looking into a minute portion of the vast wealth of blogs available on the internet, I found that, whatever their topic or purpose (ranging from beautiful photography to moving writing to daily updates on the activity of your neighbor's cat), there tends to be an intense focus on the self. The exception to this is of course the woman who chooses to blog about her cat, but even then she constantly has to bring up the fact that it is her cat, which I feel proves my point and shows a need for that woman to let her cat shine on its own. Go, neighbor cat, go and live your life.

Despite my silliness, one can see a contradiction here. What reason does someone who makes a distinct effort to avoid pride have to create a blog, something which tends to be (based on what little research I have done) focused on the self? I think that, though a contradiction is present, there is also opportunity. Specifically, I feel that an examination of my own life will hopefully help to show what it means to try and give up control of one's future, to acknowledge the fact that this life is not truly owned by the person living it. To clarify, this is an effort for me to explain how I live to myself as much as anyone else. So, with these things in mind, I say thank you for coming, and I hope that what you find here in the future will prove both encouraging and challenging.

With His love, and hopefully His grace,

Taylor