Faith Like a Child, Not Like Rocketman

As my college career comes to a close, I've been doing more and more thinking about that "future" thing everyone seems so obsessed with. Thankfully, I seem to have gotten out of the stage in which I have no idea what I am going to do with my life after my time as an undergraduate. I have a fairly clear image of what the next step in my life is going to be, and I'm excited for that. Yes, it took me a long time to figure out what that next step was supposed to be, and to really feel sure of it, but it definitely feels good to have arrived at this place of knowing (to some extent).

I've been wondering recently, however, is this place of peace that I am in a good thing? Here I am, feeling like I've figured out this next step in my life. Yet the title of this blog (along with many other aspects of my faith) are screaming at me, telling me that I'm dangerously close to doing something very, very stupid.

Christians talk a lot about "answering the call". We like to think on these pivotal moments in our lives in which we pick up the proverbial God phone, hear what it is we are supposed to hear, and respond accordingly. Then we hang up. We figure we've listened as we are called to do, have in turn been rewarded by an image of what we are meant to do next, and so we run off, skipping and clapping and waving flags around.

Then something goes wrong. We didn't get the funding we needed (something that I am afraid of as I hopefully move off into this internship), the outcome wasn't what we were hoping for, what have you. We then start yelling "What the crap!" (or something to that effect) to anyone who will listen. We heard "the call", so why didn't everything end with a parade of unicorns accompanied by little children firing guns that shoot rainbows and bubbles?

I've seen this happen in my life more than once, and the only explanation that has made any sense to me is that I got impatient. It's easy to get overexcited to go out and do something, anything, especially at the end of a giant equipping period like college. We wait for so long that the first sign of clarity we receive that direct us towards something productive might as well be a giant bomb set off underneath us that launches us into a new wild and crazy adventure.

The problems with bombs is, once they go off, you can't really control them. We get shot off in a new direction and in our excitement we don't really pay too much attention to a lot of what if going on around us. It's also very hard to listen in the midst of an explosion.

The tricky thing about "the call" is that it isn't really a one time thing. I honestly believe that if God were to show me all that He had for me for my entire life, I would have run away screaming a long time ago, and I'm fairly certain that's true for all of us. He knows that, so He gives us pieces of our future, one at a time. Instead of the one gigantic call we like to think defines our entire life (and admittedly sometimes it can), I've found that God actually likes to have a conversation with us, guiding us step by step.

The issue with this for many of us (myself included) is that it isn't big and dramatic. Instead of a giant exciting explosion, the image we get for our lives is more like what we did in kindergarden, where we had that rope we held on to as we slowly moved forward. Also like kindergarden, there are a lot of shiny things that distract us, and we want to run and play with them, leaving the rope behind because, quite frankly, the rope can be boring at times. For certain periods in our life, God tells us to just sit there, holding the rope. We don't even get to walk anywhere, and our purpose seems no where to be found.

What do we do in these moments? We wait. Yes, we wait, but that doesn't mean we do nothing. Times in which we are seemingly left sitting on the playground holding a rope are there for a reason. For example, this last year of college, one in which I feel as though I have done (in a grand sense) very little, has been a time in which I am being dramatically equipped so that I am actually prepared to take the next step of my life.

So here I am, sitting on the ground, holding my rope. For those of you who feel like you are in the same place, my word of encouragement to you is that this time can be just as productive as when we are actively "doing something". Take this time of waiting as a blessing. Spend this time listening and looking for opportunities to grow so that we can be that much more faithful with the opportunities that we are inevitably going to be given.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Shucky Darn It's a Christmas Blog!

So here we are. It's Christmas. To some of us, this day means that we got to open up a lot of cool gifts (and a package of socks) and spend time (for good or ill) with family. For some of us, this is a day that means absolutely nothing. For me, this day has become increasingly important as I have grown in my faith. This year, for the first time, I honestly feel like I am being truly moved by my understanding of this time of the year, and I am eternally grateful for that.

The question of how to express that gratefulness is something which has been bugging me for the last few days. Of course, being that it is Christmas, related Facebook statuses abound. Not to hate on people's choices, but to me Merry Christmas just doesn't have a ton of meaning anymore. It has become cliched to the point that it is known more as that thing you're not supposed to say if you work in customer service than an honest expression of joy and a declaration that peace now has the opportunity to reign in our lives because of what God did.

So what then? What shall I do to express my joy as I sit here in my new scarf (thanks Corbin, even though you're six years old and I don't think you even know what a blog is and therefore probably aren't reading this)? The only thing which comes to mind which even comes close to fulfilling the task is to share with you where this joy has come from for me. Let this act as your que to exit stage-left if you don't want to hear me talk about God. I honestly hope you keep reading though.

I've often wondered at why God doesn't show Himself more visibly in people's lives. Around Christmas time, churches do a lot of talking about how spectacular a gift the coming of Christ into the world was. The key thing that has always acted as a catching point for me was the tense in which this was proclaimed. This WAS a gift. Jesus WAS sent into the world. Then He left. In the most beautiful and loving way imaginable, granted, but He still left.

I think too much of the time I let my thinking stop right there. Jesus left, we've been given the (incredibly hard to understand at times) Holy Spirit to act as our counselor, and God's Son has been forever left to being discussed in the past tense.

It has been in this area that my understanding of Christmas has been changing in some huge ways. The event which Christmas commemorates cannot be looked at as a singularity that just simply happened. Jesus didn't stay a baby forever. He grew up. Why? So that He could die on a cross for every single person who would ever live. This, in turn, gave each of us the opportunity to have a relationship with God. We didn't do anything to earn this. In fact, to earn this amazing act of love, humanity (God's chosen people included) lived in active rebellion for quite a few centuries. Nonetheless, we have been given the opportunity to connect with someone who doesn't let who we are, what we've done, or who we've hurt keep us from His love.

This is how I've started thinking about Christmas. Not as that one holiday that commemorates the birth that didn't even happen in December, but as the start of something so beautiful that I am unbelievably excited to spend the rest of my life and beyond thinking on, experiencing, and understanding it better. Jesus birth didn't "just happen". It was the start of a chain of events which opened up a life we could not have found and still can't find in any other way.

For many of us, the fervor of Christmas is beginning to fade. For others, this time doesn't have any spiritual meaning at all. As I encourage myself, I encourage all of you, however, to think of this time as a celebration not of just one event, but the beginning of a movement that changed all of human history. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful Christmas, wherever you are and whatever this time may mean. May this be a time filled with grace, peace, and joy.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

Rock, Paper, Grace.

I'm finding more and more that this season of Christmas has a painful irony to it. Christmas commemorates the coming of the Christ into this world. What we commemorate here is the epitome of all grace being brought here to Earth for the singular reason that He might remind people of who God is and die that we might have a relationship with Him.

Yet, in this season in which grace should be celebrated more than anything, I have been finding almost the exact opposite to be true. The pressure of this season seems to create a climate in which we become more self-centered, and less willing to show grace than ever. Blame this on commercialism, spiritual turmoil, what ever force you feel like pointing the finger at. The fact is that the climate of this season, one which should be more joy-filled than we could ever imagine, can be somewhat depressing.

Ever since I arrived here in Colorado, I have had the displeasure of seeing case of after case of ungrace being acted out. From drivers to shoppers to parking garage attendants, I am constantly seeing a pervasive lack of grace, which is exactly what Christ came to bring. I honestly believe that this has to do with an equally pervasive lack of understanding of what this season is truly about, the amazing gift that was Jesus' coming into this world. I, however, cannot force anyone to believe in what Christ came to do so that I can have a more joyful Christmas.

But what can we do? What can be done to challenge the ungrace which exists particularly in this season? I've been thinking on this a lot lately, and the answer which I've come to is surprisingly simple. We show grace. In this time in which all the pressures of providing gifts and the pain of unmet expectations inspires in people the drive to lash out at anyone who offends them, we show them an unprecedented level of forgiveness and love.

I won't say that this is easy to do, because that would make me a liar. Indeed, we have been given a model for what showing grace to a graceless world might look like. Something which has stuck in my head is the scripture in which Jesus talks about how he came not to bring peace but a sword. The more I have thought on this (a passage which has confused me for a good long while), I have found that the sword which Jesus brought was grace. He showed unending love and forgiveness to those who had been shunned from society, social pariahs, those who were seen as the lowest of the low. In doing so, he dramatically challenged the foundation of an entire culture.

The image used to describe this grace, this shattering of social norms through love, is a sword. A symbol of warfare. I'm not saying we're going to find ourselves getting in fights for loving people, but I can say it will definitely surprise most of those we interact with, sometimes more than we might think possible. In the midst of the pressures of this season, the last thing someone expects to receive after exploding in anger is a loving reception. That, though, is exactly what they need to receive. Grace is infectious. By showing it to people in the moments when they expect it the least, we have the opportunity to challenge this world to be more loving on a fundamental level.

So in this season in which I'm fairly certain that a great many of us will experience a heaping helping of ungrace, let's shake the foundations of this world. Let's love in the midst of being proverbially spat on. Sure, it'll hurt us in the moment, and it probably won't feel like we're having much of an impact, but nothing worth having is free. Let's be willing to feel that momentary pain of overlooking ungrace so that someone's life might be changed forever.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor

You Don't Know Me, Starbucks!

A quote from a Starbucks cup:

"Be careful, this beverage you are about to enjoy may be extremely hot."

At first, this phrase seems fairly innocuous. If anything, it's a nice warning, reminding me of the consequences that come along with my unhealthy addiction to caffeine. There, I admitted my problem, step one complete.

There is one part of this friendly little admonishment, however, that I think is worth examining, this being the assumption which Starbucks makes here. According to the marketing geniuses who spent hours and hours designing this cup, I have no option but to enjoy this beverage. Whether or not I will like this drink is a forgone conclusion. The second the liquid entered this particular container, some strange faux-hipster magic was cast, creating a concoction which would lull my taste buds into eternal bliss.

I know what I am about to suggest is ground breaking, but what if by some crazy chance I didn't enjoy the drink?

*Audible Gasp!*

Granted, this most likely would not be the case for me. I do, indeed, have an unhealthy addiction to coffee, and if you put coffee flavoring in something and tell me I can have it I will probably like you more. My own issues aside, I'm quite certain that there are people out there who do not, in fact like coffee. Based on this, the cup (not unlike certain types of cake) is a lie.

But how can this be!? Marketing is supposed to be able to tell me everything I want! If Starbucks is getting it wrong, does this mean that the rest of our consumer culture may NOT have a concrete grasp on all of my desires!?

In short, yes, but that won't stop them from trying.

I know I have been fairly snarky throughout the first part of this particular piece, but I think there is something which we need to be a bit more serious about here. We live in a society that likes to get us to feel as though we are validated by making purchases. I feel that this is basically impossible to miss during this particular month. Based on the fact that we are not completely impulsive, however, people get payed lots of money to get us to go out and continue buying things by focusing on getting us to believe that we want things.

Sometimes, we really do want what our culture is pushing. A lot of it seems fairly attractive. The deeper question here, though, is what makes those things attractive. I honestly believe that there are parts of these various products that we want, and maybe even want them for good reasons. We want to think we are attractive. We want to think we are intelligent. We want to think that we can relate to the culture around us.

The truth of the matter is, though, that you can't find these things in a product. I spent years of my life thinking that if I could just look the right way, say the right things, portray the right image, that I could be everything I was meant to be. In reality, we can't do anything to make ourselves more like the person we are meant to be. We were created with that intention already in mind, and all we are capable of, all we have to do, is realize it.

So in this season in which nine hundred thousand different things will try to tell you that they can define you, my message to both myself and anyone reading this is simple. Know who you are. If you haven't figured that out, take some time to do it. Get out of all the stress and panic that comes along with this season so much of the time, find a place of peace, and think on who you were meant to be. Who you were made to be. Let the fulfillment of that purpose be what brings you joy this season.

With His love and Hopefully His grace,

Taylor

The Week to End All Weeks

Many of us here at Western feel as though we are in the midst of the above. The pressure of finals week has finally shattered the carefully constructed bunker of our procrastination, forcing us to action. We long for those final days in which we shall be free from this terrible burden which has afflicted our very souls (please note, this is me being dramatic). Indeed, rarely can we find something which compares to the feeling of the elation which comes along with a finals week well done. In the same way, it is not often that something can hurt like a quarter ending on a painfully low note.

The interesting thing to me, though, is that this week means absolutely nothing for the rest of the world. This infamous half of a fortnight, which is so impactful for university students, is just another week to most people. Work continues, families still need to be fed, the latest J.J. Abrams show (we're still on Fringe, right?) asks eight new questions and answers one.

This might seem almost offensive to those of us in the midst of this stupendously stressful time in our lives. At that oh-so-very scary point at which we think without analyzing, we find our minds screaming "How dare these people live normal lives while I'm freaking out about all these pretty pictures in my biology textbook!"

The silliness of this thinking should be readily apparent, and yet it is something to which I think we can relate. Even in life outside of college, there exists many an opportunity to become so focused on what is going on in our lives that we become agitated by anyone who isn't involved in the same stressful activities. In these moments, it is particularly important for us to think on what kind of an impact this thinking is having on the way in which we interact with others.

As a tradition for many, finals week is a time in which we shut ourselves off from the world. Living in the dorms this year, I have seen this first hand, both in myself and in others. In my case, I think I became some sort of shadow version of myself while I was writing my 27 page senior thesis, a creature which only partially existed in this world. As such, I was very difficult to find, which was exactly what I wanted to be. I had too much to focus on, too much going on in my own life, to worry about what was going on around me.

It isn't until now that I've noticed just how selfish that thinking is. In some way, I justified the idea that my stress, my needs superseded all those of any individual around me. What I was going through was inherently, in my mind, more important than what anyone else could be experiencing at that moment. Hopefully we can all see the flaw in that thought process.

In light of this, I have tried to reorient my thinking during times of stress, and I would encourage those reading to do the same. Instead of allowing ourselves to charge down the slope of stress into the mire of self-absorbtion, I think we need to take our stressful times as periods in which we are extra attentive to the needs of those around us. The entire world expects us to be obsessed with what is going on in our lives when things get hard. What an amazing chance we have, then, to show how God has empowered us to care for people by consciously taking the focus off of ourselves in those stressful times.

With His love and hopefully His grace,

Taylor