A Knife in the Back Instead of a Hug

We like to be supported. When dramatic changes happen in our lives, we like it when we can have someone who will affirm what it is that we are going through, who we know has our back. We need this support more than ever in those moments when some monumental change occurs, when an event inspires us to change fundamentally. Change change change.

Too often, though, we don't receive this support. Too often, we receive the exact opposite. The very people who we come to, hoping to find their support and care, reject us. There aren't very many pains in the world which can equate to that feeling of utter betrayal.

Tragically, I've seen this happen more and more recently. On the trip I took this Spring break (take a look two blogs ago to see all the cool stuff God did, and interestingly enough the very same things that inspired the reactions which are the basis of this post), many of the people on my team got altered on a fundamental level. I saw them stepping out with boldness they had never known, bringing both emotional and physical healing into the lives of the people they interacted with. They saw themselves tapping into a new aspect of who God was that they had never known, and they were incredibly excited as a result.

Then they came home and their friends and family made them feel like idiots.

Much of the time, I think we are scared of the things which we don't understand. New experiences, new ideas, especially those which challenge our current conceptualization of something, can be terrifying. As a general rule, we tend to avoid things that fall into that category, which is an issue in and of itself. However, the thing I think we need to be more careful of is our all too common tendency to lash out at those who bring in those revolutionary ways of thinking. This lashing out takes a lot of different shapes. Sometimes, it's straight up rage, poured out on another person. At other moments, it's the snide comment, the seemingly joking remark that makes the person sharing about their experience feel like a fool. Sometimes, it's simply refusing to talk to someone who we know had a certain experience, just because we know what they're going to share and we don't want to hear it.

Why are we so afraid of new ideas? I'm honestly not sure. I want to say it's because we have an understanding (particularly in regards to God) that has taken time to develop, that we hope is correct, and we are legitimately concerned for those presenting new ideas. Sadly, I feel like by saying that I'm lying to myself most of the time. More often, we're just scared, and we respond in incredibly hurtful ways.

So what do we do about this? There's a scripture which keeps dancing around in my head (it's more plodding around drawing a lot of attention to itself now, but before it was dancing quite gracefully). Proverbs 3:5 tells us to "lean not on our own understanding." I think if we would be willing to take this attitude more often, one that recognizes that we do not have the fullest understanding available to us, an infinite amount of healing could occur. Those receiving new ideas could live with so much less fear, and the pain that is too often caused as a result of that fear would begin to wash away.

We can't control how people will react when we share new things with them. What we can do, though, is provide a model of peace and openness that is worth following. So for those of us who are having experiences which we love to share, but seem to freak people out, have patience, and when someone brings a legitimate critique, engage with it, don't run just because you're being challenged. And to those hearing about these experiences, please, trust the people in your life enough to truly listen to them. You don't have to agree, but please, listen.

With His love and grace,
Taylor